Quins vs Bears Big Game 17

​Harlequins Men v Bristol Bears Men

Allianz Stadium

​Pre-game entertainment was provided by Groove Armada, who warmed the crowd up on a baltic evening in TW2 ahead of Big Game 17’s second fixture of the day. After the women’s game earlier on, it was now the turn of the men's sides.

​Both sides applied early pressure, but it was Bristol who managed to score first. The ball made its way out wide for Kalaveti Ravouvou to score in the corner, much to the disappointment of those wearing Quins quarters in the stands.

​The home side squandered an excellent chance when they knocked on from close range following a penalty into touch, shortly after Ellis Genge was penalised during a scrum. Quins would be made to rue that missed opportunity even more when a sensational kick through by Benhard Janse van Rensburg was passed to Joe Batley by Ravouvou, allowing the Bears' second row to go clean through to extend his side's lead.

​Things went from bad to worse for Harlequins when Bristol scored their third try of the half. Following some free-flowing play, hooker Gabriel Oghre found a gap in the host's defence just after the half-hour mark.

​The first half proved to be a tough test for Harlequins, who simply could not find a way to break through Bristol’s resilient defensive line. Meanwhile, it was a superb half for the Bears, capped off by Louis Rees-Zammit channelling his inner Ellie Kildunne to gather his own kick over the top, scoring the bonus-point try right on the stroke of half-time.

​There were plenty of faces at half-time that had lost any sign of Christmas cheer; instead, there was only disappointment at what they had just witnessed. I’m not sure many would have anticipated Harlequins being 26-0 down at the break.

​Somehow, the half-time break was more painful than the Quins' performance, with fans being encouraged to sing Christmas songs through a microphone linked to the PA system. Quins may have butchered a few chances in the first half, but that was nothing compared to the butchering a Mariah Carey classic would receive!

​It wasn’t the start to the second half Quins had in mind, especially when Jack Walker was sent to the sin bin before Santiago Grondona scored off the back of a maul to put Bristol even further ahead inside the opening five minutes.

​With just half an hour left, Quins were still yet to register a point on the board and Bears seemingly had them camped in their own half. Yet again, the first real time that Harlequins began to threaten, they knocked the ball on from close range to hand possession straight back to Pat Lam's side.

​Tom Jordan was sent to the sin bin just shy of the hour mark for collapsing a maul, giving the home side a chance to claw their way back into the game. Meanwhile, Allianz Stadium treated the crowd to a rendition of the Weather Girls' hit, ‘It’s Raining Men.’

​Finally, Harlequins got on the board when Rodrigo Isgro crashed over a pile of bodies to score under the posts. Marcus Smith added the extras as he looked to close in on the record for Big Game points, currently held by Nick Easter.

​There are very few sights in this world scarier than a rhino charging at you, and that was the case for Harlequins as "The Baby Rhino" Ellis Genge made an exceptional carry out wide before eventually crashing over for yet another Bears try.

​At half-time, the stadium announcer spoke of memories of "Bristanbul" and Quins' fantastic comeback victory at Ashton Gate a few years back, but with 15 minutes left and Bears leading 40-7, it felt much more like a "Merry Brismas" than anything else.

​Anthony Woodthorpe showed his Christmas spirit when he handed out a yellow card to Bristol centre James Williams. It didn’t take long for Harlequins to seemingly make the most of their man advantage as Sam Riley went over for a score; however, Woodthorpe and his TMO ruled the try out due to a player in touch. An earlier infringement gave Quins a penalty just outside the 22.

​The resulting penalty was kicked to touch, and eventually, the ball found its way back to Marcus Smith, who went under the posts for his side's second try, which he quickly converted.

​The later the game got, the more irate some home supporters became, mainly calling for offsides—a law that, in truth, no one really understands. Anyway, the final whistle blew at Allianz Stadium to the sound of boos.

​In this Christmas Cracker, it finished:

Harlequins 14 - 40 Bristol Bears.